


Slings and Arrows

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-06
Updated: 2012-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 04:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Air-Force Ball cliche fic. :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slings and Arrows

  
“What time does your flight get in?” Jack asked.   
  
_Crap._ Sam had been doing her best to avoid that subject. She hadn’t actually made any travel arrangements. She was hoping something more important than sharing in Jack’s misery would land in her lap but her schedule was suspiciously empty. It could only mean one thing: Jack must have made his plans long before he shared them with her because he'd obviously done something devious to the SGC's mission schedule.  
  
Sam pushed the conversation away from her procrastination. “What are you wearing?” She asked. Jack had been coerced into attending a retirement party for one of his D.C. colleagues and he’d volunteered Sam to be his date for the evening. It was a big event—a big political event that would have every high-ranking service member on the East Coast clamoring to make an appearance. Networking was an important part of the military retirement plan.   
  
Sam could already imagine the oppressive sea of blue polyester ebbing and flowing around the punch bowl and the hors d’oeuvres. She’d be forced to have uncomfortable conversations with people she didn’t know, or worse, people she knew and didn’t like. They would ask her stupid questions and wonder how long she’d been sleeping with General O’Neill. She tapped her pen against her laptop and tried to think of witty things to say if—when she got cornered.    
  
“Probably just my dress blues,” said Jack. Sam made a face that Jack couldn’t see and moved the phone to her other ear. Of course he was going to wear his dress blues. His closet was still full of leftovers from the wardrobe department of the Grizzly Adams show. Jack didn’t seem to want to face the fact that he was more of a politician now than an Air Force officer. He needed more than BDU’s and flannel cabin-wear. She should probably take him shopping while she was in D.C. If she went. There was still a chance something really bad could happen. She might be able to break something important. Something Siler couldn't fix, even with his biggest wrench.  
  
“No," she said. "You have to get something else. We should match and I’m not wearing anything made out of polyester.” Or anything blue. Sam looked at the clock and frowned. Daniel was late for their lunch date. She might need to consider finding someone more reliable to drag her out of her lab for meals. Daniel was just as likely to lose track of life when he worked as she was. She’d really been looking forward to trying the new Indian place in town. She looked at the clock again. Maybe they could grab an early dinner instead. Her stomach rumbled its agreement.   
  
“Let’s wear costumes,” Jack said in an overenthusiastic voice. He’d definitely been in Washington too long. Sam understood why Jack didn’t just retire but she didn’t understand how he’d managed to hold on to what little sanity he possessed. He wasn't exactly in his element there. Daniel was the only one who could really be trusted to safely interact with politicians. On any planet.   
  
Costumes would almost be fun. Sure, people might think they were crazy but so what? They could act confused and leave early. It might work. They could show up as Han Solo and Princess Leia. Maybe they could bring Teal'c. He'd make a great Wookiee. Of course, Jack would probably lose his job, Teal’c would be sent to Area 51 and she would be assigned to some crappy research lab for the rest of her career. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all. They probably wouldn’t be able to get costumes on such short notice anyway. Also, there was a much easier solution to this particular unpleasantness.   
  
“Let’s not go,” she said.  
  
“Come on, Carter. We have to go.”  
  
Well, that was just a lie. _They_ didn’t have to go. “You have to go,” she reminded him. She’d just been volunteered against her will. Jack was the only one who was expecting her.   
  
“I went to your science thing,” he said.   
  
He did go to her science thing but only because she’d promised him sex. And nobody at her science thing knew who he was. They hadn’t been to any military functions as a couple. She was sure everyone with a high enough clearance knew about their relationship by now; it was probably in their official records. Could anything be more awkward? Za’tarc testing, maybe? Yes, she agreed, that was pretty high up on the awkward scale but at least it had only been Janet and Teal'c in the room.   
  
“My science thing was interesting,” said Sam. The food had been terrible, but the presentations were the best she’d seen in years. Not that they could compare to what she did on a daily basis, but there was some pretty exciting research being done right here on Earth. Jack had been less than impressed. He’d spent most of the time trying to distract her with subtle innuendo concerning her promise of sex when they got back to their hotel room. The problem was, Jack didn’t do subtle very well and they were surrounded by a bunch of highly intelligent people. By the end of the evening, people were just flat out ignoring them.   
  
Jack paused on the other end of the line and tried to be diplomatic. “That’s one word for it.” Maybe Washington was finally rubbing off on him. If he got any worse, she’d have to try and convince him to reconsider retirement. She wasn’t sure if she could deal with a politically correct Jack. “If you come willingly, I’ll let you stay here all week,” he added.  
  
“All week?” He hadn’t mentioned that before.   
  
“I might have called in a favor or six. But the offer is only good for tall, sexy women who accompany me to stuffy retirement parties for people nobody likes.” He was probably bluffing about that but Sam knew he must have pulled some pretty big strings to get a week off and now she felt like she owed him. The sea of blue polyester came crashing back into her life. She’d have to find a dress that went well with a bright orange life jacket.   
  
“I hate you,” she said while she deleted the following week's menial events from her calendar.   
  
“I know,” said Jack. “So what time does your flight get in?”


End file.
